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EPL

Britain’s most boring football teams

Which teams are boring, stuck in the same division, no promotion, no relegation, no derbies, is this exciting?

Football is a sport about emotion – it’s an opportunity to feel something. Whether it’s the hope, despair, ecstasy, or agony stomached during the latter stages of a campaign avoiding relegation, or chasing the play-offs, football, at its best, makes us feel.

 

In many instances, the emotion experienced holds greater significance than any point tally or league position could ever reflect. The greatest possible example of this could be when Everton, a club that for years following their last title-winning season in 1987 had just apathetically been making up the numbers in the Premier League, were faced with the genuine prospect of relegation.

 

After dramatically surviving relegation to the Championship on the final day of the 21/22 Premier League season, Goodson Park shivered with joy (and indeed relief) in a way the historic ground hadn’t since its 20th-century league title and FA Cup wins.

 

While the team were less successful than a typical modern mid-table Everton side, it finally gave the toffee faithful something to feel and experience, something to be part of.

 

So, who are the other British football clubs who largely avoid the despair and ecstasy the beautiful game relentlessly brings us?


Bristol City

 

Bristol City, a club that publicly announced their ambitions to bring European football to the recently re-developed Ashton Gate, have only finished in the top half of the Championship once in the last 10 years, while simultaneously rarely coming in any danger of relegation.

 

Furthermore, Bristol City haven’t faced their city rivals, Bristol Rovers, who’ve largely been stuck in the lower reaches of English football, in the league for 21 years. The Robins fans must have forgotten what it feels like to win or fall short in a truly big game.


For one of Britain’s biggest and most prevalent cities, it’s amazing that neither Bristol side has experienced Premier League football or a major trophy win.


Preston North End

 

Preston North End were one of the founding members of the Football League, play in the oldest professional stadium in England, and was once one of the country’s most successful clubs, winning the First Division and FA Cup twice each.

 

Having been relegated from the top-flight in 1961, the Lancashire side has never returned or come close to replicating their former FA Cup glories.

 

It will feel like Groundhog Day for most living Preston North End fans; 64% of their seasons since relegation from the First Division has been in the Championship, while in the last 10 years, they’ve finished between 14th and 7th in the Championship every single time.

 

Preston fans largely avoid the misery of relegation or heartbreakingly falling short in the play-offs but haven’t had too many recent moments to tell their future grandchildren about either.


Crystal Palace

 

We all want success for our football teams, but what happens when your club reaches its ceiling and seems just to stagnate?

 

That’s exactly what’s happened for Crystal Palace. Historically not one of the country’s biggest, Palace have stabilised as a solid Premier League club. Finishing between 10th and 15th in the Premier League every season since promotion from the Championship in 2013, Palace fans must be a little bored of treading water.

 

While it would take something spectacular to ever challenge the European places, they’ve watched arch-enemies Brighton find a way into the top six in just their sixth Premier League season.

 

Palace might get the odd victory against a top-six club, but that’s about as far as their excitement has gone in recent years.

 

Honourable Mention

 

Football is full of cycles, and while years of mid-table mediocrity might feel like an eternity, it won’t go on forever. Take Coventry City for example; the sky blues had failed to finish in the top six of any division for 47 (forty-seven) years before promotion from League Two in 2018.

 

Since breaking their curse they’ve gone on to win promotion from League One, make the Championship play-off final, and their most recent successes has earned them an FA Cup semi-final date with Manchester United at Wembley.